“Toxic Positivity”: A Journey Towards Authentic Emotional Health
In today's world, where personal and professional lives overlap in complex patterns and mental health awareness is growing exponentially, we often encounter the phenomenon of "toxic positivity". Despite the increasing use of this term, many of us may struggle to understand its implications fully. Indeed, in a society that perpetuates the mantra of "keep smiling," grasping the detrimental effects of exaggerated positivity can be a challenge.
“Toxic positivity” refers to an overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state that results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of authentic human emotional experience. The culture of relentless optimism insists that regardless of how dire or difficult a situation may be, we should maintain a positive mindset. It tends to discount external reality, dire situations in which we might find ourselves and that are entirely out of our hands. In other cases, it places responsibility for one’s pain on the person who is suffering, implying some mental illness is a choice and can be easily resolved with the right mindset, a few techniques, and an overall positive attitude.
While a positive mindset is without a doubt worth striving for and has its undeniable benefits, it is not always a solution. Within the ocean of human emotions, there's a broad spectrum of feelings, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and more. These emotions are natural, integral parts of the human experience, and suppressing them can lead to a multitude of mental and emotional challenges. Rather than burying our true feelings beneath a facade of ceaseless positivity, embracing our emotions—both the good and the bad—can be profoundly healing. In case of mental illness, and even if you just feel overwhelmed and need help, recognition is crucial to seek support and begin a journey of healing.
Many people unintentionally adopt exaggerated positivity because they believe it will help them cope with distressing situations. However, it is vital to understand that it is okay not to be okay sometimes. Perpetuating the cycle of exaggerated positivity can leave individuals feeling unheard, invalidated, and pressured to portray a happy exterior, even when they are suffering inside.
The same applies -maybe even more so- to our reactions towards others’ struggles with difficult situations. While we may think we are trying to uplift a person in distress by displaying an overly positive attitude, they may feel not taken seriously, not understood, and as a consequence, feel even more crushed.
Healthy positivity, on the other hand, encourages an honest reflection of feelings and promotes genuine emotional wellbeing. It entails being aware of our emotional state and permitting ourselves to feel without judgment or pressure to feign happiness constantly. This kind of positivity creates a safe space for all emotions, fostering resilience, emotional intelligence, and overall mental health.
Achieving a balanced emotional state involves acknowledging and embracing all emotions. Sadness, fear, and anger are not necessarily negative emotions—they are human. They are vital to our survival, alerting us when something is not right, and allowing us to initiate change. By permitting ourselves to feel these emotions, we are taking a significant step towards self-awareness and authentic emotional health.
We must aim to replace exaggerated positivity with balanced emotional awareness. To do this, we should normalize feeling different emotions, validate the feelings of others without immediately trying to "fix" them, and remind ourselves that it's okay not to feel positive all the time. By doing so, we create an environment that fosters true emotional wellbeing.
Navigating through challenging emotions can be a complicated journey. The societal pressure to be perpetually happy can be overwhelming, but remember, you are not alone.
